I can't believe it's been a month since Britta was born! Time is flying already!!
Anyways...I love birth stories. I loved writing Linnea's birth story - it was so empowering to put into words what the experience was like, and what my body was able to do. I knew that when Britta was born, I would want to do the same thing - to be able to remember the amazing gift of that day forever.
Like I did with Linnea's birth story, I will warn you here...this is a birth story, and I won't hold back details. So if you don't want to her intricate details regarding the birth, stop reading now.
For Britta's birth story, I back up to the Friday before my due date (I was due on Sunday). I had my 39 week (even though it was closer to 40 weeks) appointment with my OB. I left work that day for my appointment feeling SO certain I would not be back. Looking back, I realize how silly that was. I didn't really have any reason to think that - other than the fact that Linnea came right on time. I guess I assumed that since Linnea was on time, this baby would be as well - maybe even a little early. Ha! Not so.
At my appointment, my doctor and I chatted about how I was feeling (great, actually - though getting impatient), and when we thought Baby Sister would come. She did an exam, and much to my surprise, I was dilated to 1 cm. Now I know this isn't much of anything, but with Linnea I had ZERO progress the day before I went into labor, so I really wasn't expecting to have any sort of progress prior to giving birth.
My doctor seemed encouraged by what she was feeling/seeing, and she was quite hopeful that I would likely have the baby soon...perhaps even by the end of the weekend. Hooray! I left the appointment feeling excited, and certain that Baby Sister was on her way.
Well...my due date came and went without much change. All weekend I was feeling sort of crampy - on and off contractions. Again, not really anything I experienced with Linnea. I didn't know if they were Braxton Hicks, or legit contractions - or something in between. Either way, I'd have contractions/cramps for a bit, and then they would go away. Womp womp.
Monday came, and I grudgingly got up and got ready for work. Seriously, it was painful. When I had left on Friday I had everything wrapped up really well. All of my work for the quarter was done, and in the best place it possibly could be. But Monday was the start of a new quarter, and a whole new load of work. I struggled to know what to do - how much to dig in to stuff, what to focus on, etc. And I had a really hard time focusing. I was on pins and needles, waiting to go into labor.
All week at work was much the same - leaving every day hoping it was my last, only to be back the next day. My co-workers were so kind and supportive - but I ended up answering the same questions every day, all day. I felt like the movie "Groundhog's Day" - the same day, over and over.
By midweek I was actually getting quite anxious. Baby Sister was not moving around as much. I notice this, and start to get paranoid that something was wrong. On Wednesday it got bad enough that I ended up leaving early and going into the clinic to make sure everything was okay. The doctor I saw (who was someone I've never seen - not even the same clinic) was great. She was very reassuring and thorough. We listened to the baby for longer than usual. She explained the sounds and movement she was hearing and feeling. She also checked me - I was dilated to 3! Again, so different for me - to be late, and to have that kind of progression!
That night Jeromy and I talked about a game plan for work. I explained my anxiety and how difficult it was for my mental health and well being to be struggling through work days. We decided that I would work half days on Thursday and Friday, and then be done, whether the baby was here or not (thankfully it didn't come to that!).
On Thursday we attended a closing celebration for Linnea's week at Vacation Bible School. It was hard for me to be there - I had hoped/planned that we would have the baby by then, and maybe even be able to bring her. Instead, I was very pregnant, fielding lots of comments and questions.
On Friday I woke up in the four o'clock hour, needing to use the bathroom. As I crawled back into bed I started having contractions. This had happened most of the week in much the same way, so at that point I just got crabby, assuming it was another false alarm.
But they kept coming. And were quite regular (every 5 minutes or so). And were a little painful (not horrible, but enough that I couldn't really get back to sleep). I woke Jeromy up a little before 6 and told him that today was the day! It worked out great because it was Friday, so Linnea was due to go to my parents (they take care of her every Friday). I knew that we still had a bit of time, so we got up and got ready like any other day (just with some contractions thrown in!). Jeromy and Linnea headed out for my parents' house, and I got into the tub with a bowl of cereal and some juice. Like with Linnea's labor, the tub helped me relax and ease the pain of the contractions a bit.
After a bit, Jeromy came back and started gathering our things. I knew that I wasn't as far progressed as I was with Linnea when we headed into the hospital, but I wanted to go. I was anxious that we'd get stuck in rush hour traffic, and I was worried things would progress faster than with Linnea and we'd risk not getting to the hospital in time.
As we drove to the hospital we joked about how it seemed that Baby Sister wanted to differentiate herself as much as possible - it seemed as though everything was different with this labor! We got to the hospital, and made our way up to Labor and Delivery.
I was so much more at ease this time. Yes, of course I was a little anxious, but I felt a boost of confidence having been through the process before. The nurses were very kind, getting us checked in and everything. When they examined me upon check in (around 9:30 or 9:45), I was a "stretchy 5 with a bulging bag of water (gross! ha ha!)."
The nurse asked about our birth plan. We explained that, as with Linnea, we had a "non-plan plan." Ideally, go without medication/intervention, but open to options as needed. The nurses were very supportive of this.
The hospital had been renovated since Linnea was born, and now included water birth suites. I had considered trying for a water birth, but opted not to (mainly because I'd have to switch from working with my OB to the midwives. I'm sure the midwives are wonderful, but I love my OB). I had asked when we had done a tour a couple weeks before if we could request a water birth suite if there was one open. The lady looked at me funny, but said that one could certainly try. So I did - and there was one available.
We got into the room, which seriously felt like a spa. The tub was HUGE - super deep, and easily long enough for me to lay completely flat in it if I wanted to. Additionally, there was a big, flat screen TV with a naturescapes-type channel - a slideshow of pictures/video of animals and pretty scenery. The accompanying music was beautiful and relaxing.
At that point, contractions were quite regular, and a little painful - but still manageable. Jeromy and I chatted in between them. Our nurse (Kate) came in periodically to check on how everything was going.
I stayed in the tub for an hour or so I suppose, and then decided to get out. I was getting a little stir crazy, and wanted the option to move around more. I got out and dried off, and climbed into bed. Contractions were getting significantly more painful at this point. When I was checked at this point I was a 7/8. We checked in about pain management - if I wanted/needed anything. Although it was painful, I was confident that I could once again manage without an epidural. Unlike with Linnea (when I had minimal pain medication), I opted for nothing - feeling like I was managing things well without any medication.
Kate was super fabulous - very encouraging and calming. She was very positive about how I was managing labor, and empowering - telling me to trust and listen to my body. She also encouraged me to try to "shut down" between contractions to get some rest. At first I thought she was crazy, thinking it was next to impossible, but (much to my surprise) I found that I could. I curled up on my side, focused on the nature music, and drifted off in between.
This stretch of labor was fairly uneventful. Regular, painful contractions. Mostly laying quietly, but becoming more vocal with contractions. Kate coming in and out to check on me, and helping me relax and focus my breathing.
At some point Kate told me she was staying until the baby came, and that I was getting close. She again told me to focus on my breathing, since it was getting a little more out of control and frantic as contractions got worse. She gently told me to listen to my body, and that I could bear down if I needed to. She checked me around this time and I was basically at 10 (with just a tiny bit of cervix left to dilate).
Kate had asked me a few times between 8 and 10 cm if I wanted her to break my water. Each time she explained that it would like speed things up, but also make things more intense. Each time she asked I turned her down. I felt comfortable with the speed of how things were progressing, and didn't really want things to get more intense if I could avoid it.
Fast forward to me around 10 cm. It was just me, Jeromy, and Kate in the room. Things were very quiet in between contractions. Another contraction came and I moaned/breathed through the pain. All of a sudden there was this HUGE pop and gush. All three of us sort of jumped/startled. I had this immediate warmth and wetness all over. I heard it splash on the floor. Jeromy still laughs - saying that it was seriously like someone throwing a bucket of water - claiming that it splashed halfway across the floor. My water had, quite dramatically, broken.
Kate was right - immediately things got much more intense. I panicked a little bit, and started to cry. I had come so far, but it hurt so bad now, and I was scared about what I still needed to do. Kate and Jeromy were there to reassure me - that she'd be here soon. At this point it was probably 1:00 or so, maybe a bit after.
Other nurses and doctors started to come in and prep the room for baby. I was seriously delirious - aware of the action and energy around me, but exhausted and in a good deal of pain. The time had come to start pushing. A resident started me going at first, but I really struggled - I had done this before, but it felt so awkward. I felt unfocused and weak - and unsure of when/how to push, and where I was within the process. After a bit the attending doctor stepped in, which I was so thankful for. She was much more intentional about telling me what to do - counting out loud of the pushes, and telling me which pushes were good.
Each round of contractions came, and I would grabbed the back of my thighs and bear down. The doctor had me push as long as I could at the beginning of the contraction (usually about 15 seconds), take a deep breath and push again. I would get two, sometimes three pushes in with each contraction.
At this point I felt so weak. It took EVERYTHING I had to push each time. Each time a contraction would come I'd start to cry because I didn't want to face it. But each time I summoned the strength within, and pushed as hard as I could. (Side note: later that day, and especially the next I noticed that my arms were super sore. I couldn't figure out why, and then realized it was from holding my legs. My arms got a really good workout that day!)
Maybe it sounds weird, but at this point it was almost an out of body experience. I was quite delirious. I was exhausted and SO hot (around this time I took my gown off altogether because I was overheating so bad). I was making sounds that seemed so foreign to me. Screaming, grunting, moaning, etc. felt like all I could do to get me through each contraction/push. I was oddly aware of myself and the state I was in, but almost felt disconnected - really hard to explain.
From the beginning I had been nervous that I would be pushing for as long as I did with Linnea (2 1/2 hours or so). Kate assured me that would not be the case - that Baby Sister would come much faster. Thankfully she was right, and before I knew it, everyone was excitedly telling me she was almost here. I felt the "ring of fire" as her head came out, and shortly after could feel the rest of her. The doctor announced the time (1:53) and put Britta on my chest. I bawled. Sheer exhaustion. Sheer love. Sheer pride in what I had done.
After a couple minutes, they took Britta to test her vitals and get her measured. Some of the nurses and doctors stayed with me to get me finished up. Another experience that was different with Britta was delivery of the placenta. With Linnea, I have no memory of delivering the placenta. I know it came out, but it didn't hurt and I wasn't aware of it. With Britta, the doctor had to guide me through delivering it - a couple more pushes and some pushing of my stomach on her part. It was a little painful, but short lived. I tore just a bit during the whole process, and needed one stitch.
While this was going on Jeromy was with Britta. When it came time for her to be weighed, he yelled across to me to see what my guess was. On the way to the hospital we guessed her to be about 8 pounds, 5 ounces. I couldn't believe it when Jeromy told me she was 9 pounds, 5 ounces, and 22.25"!! Big girl!
Once they were done with both Britta and I, Jeromy and I each got a chance to meet Britta. She was awake and SO alert. It was surreal to be able to look into her eyes - she was finally here, and she was perfect.
My favorite part of the whole experience came after Britta was born. I got out of bed to get showered off (Rain shower head! Seriously, it was like a spa!). What I really wanted was a bath. When I mentioned that, the nurses told me I could get back into the tub - and then suggested that Britta join me.
So they filled the tub again, and I got back in. They stripped Britta down, and laid her on my chest. They covered her with wet towels so she'd stay warm. She hadn't had her first bath yet, so I got to clean her off- scrub her little head, wipe down her back and legs, wash her tiny toes and fingers. I had tried to nurse her shortly after she was born, but she wasn't really having it. But in the tub she happily nursed well for 20 minutes or so. It. Was. Heaven. I will never, ever forget those sweet minutes with her.
I had been so nervous leading up to Britta's birth - how would it go, how would I manage, would everyone be healthy, would we like the nurses. In those quiet minutes after Britta was born I had a huge wave of relief. I had done it. I was so proud of myself. So thankful for my support team - Jeromy and our awesome nurse Kate. So relieved that she was finally here. My heart was full.
She's here! And perfect, if I do say so myself!
Meeting Daddy...
Meeting Mama...
I couldn't stop kissing her...
My favorite memory of the experience. I may not look it, but this is the face of pure happiness, pride, and relief.
